Soul Search

I opened up my soul
to find the guts of it,
the thoughts and feelings
deep inside
its terrifying essence.

What I saw immediately
were memories of long ago,
shame and fear, but most of all
hurt from slights, rejections
from those I wished acceptance.

Then anger spread throughout my soul
like spores from some unearthly fungus
touching every part of me
pushing hate, energizing action.

Hate crawled in slowly
moving like a hunter
sneaking upon its prey
unseen until it kills.

I looked in horror
watching this unfold
seeing it as the damnation
of my sinful soul.

More memories poured out of me
of greed devouring my mind
focused on material
forgetting the spiritual.

Despair began to enter
as I cried out in my fear,
“there must be more to my soul
than what I see deep inside.”

Then memories of people
who loved me young and old
came forward in my soul.
Love evolved like a flower
blushing as it opens its petals.

Hope then entered slowly,
quietly calming my fear
ordering the memories
to focus on what is real to me.

Peace came to me quickly
when all this was seen,
I closed up my soul
to live with it.
It is everything I am.

Paul J. Wolf 5/20/10

It has been awhile

It has been awhile since I last entered poetry. I have been busy getting a children's book published on ebooks. The site is www.bobbiesebooks.com if you are interested. Look for Sissypus, the name of the story.

I have added a few poems I had written while doing this. Thank you all for being so patient with me.

Early Spring Outing

We took a walk one early spring day
when the crush of winter was sliding away,
me and my love down the village walk
enjoying the fresh air, each other’s talk.

Along the way we watched our steps
for doggie doo was in the way.
Slush covered areas of the concrete,
cars splashed it on us in the street,
it was enough to make us weep.

With all the dodging, being alert,
we sometimes had to step into the dirt,
which, of course, was gooey mud
covering our shoes, they were full of crud.

Still we got some exercise and fresh air
even though the odor wasn’t there
except for fumes from the exhaust
of those cars in the streets by us.

The snow so white at one time
was now black with sooty grime.
We came back home that lovely day
ready to be inside and stay.

Paul J. Wolf

Meditation

From my window on the fifth floor
while saying my morning prayer
I saw so many different sights
it flooded my thoughts with awe.

Across from me was a wood
filled with tall trees.
I felt the beauty of that site
the wonder of their growth
from a simple seed to such heights.

All around me was the proof
of man’s ingenuity.
An airplane flew overhead,
a train came roaring down the tracks,
cars were driven on the street
where factories stood by the side.

Above me was an endless sky
with galaxies I could not see
knowing from the books I read
how vast was space beyond
any imagined possibility.

I felt a God in all of this
the wonder of His Plan
how loving He was to include
me, in the grandeur of it all.

Paul J. Wolf 02/19/2010

January Thaw

The trees stand naked
each small twig exposed.
The woods are open
for all to see, an x-ray
of its bones.

There are deer running,
jumping over logs; a sight one
never sees when the trees
are clothed.

January thaw clears the snow
leaving the ground open
with its dead wood and vines,
imperfections one might see
that clothing covers over.

There is beauty in its bareness
with all its scars, trees fallen by wind
or split with lightning bolts, hollowed
by the rot of time; homes
for small animals who burrow there.

Enjoy it for it doesn’t last.
Winter brings a cover of snow again
and Spring brings the clothing back
covering up that beauty of yearly wear.

Paul J. Wolf

Voice

The Voice

In an ancient age,
in an ancient land,
Samuel heard God’s voice
waking him to listen
although he was not yet a man.

According to the story
God’s voice was sparkling clear
not a whisper or a clap of thunder,
but a conversation
as you and I might have here.

Not a lecture nor demand
but a simple telling
Samuel what would happen,
his destiny when he became a man.

How does this story apply to us?
If we listen with open mind and heart
will He tell us what he wants
as we grow older too?

The more I think about these questions
the more I become confused
feeling like a child lost
in a distant land.

Sometimes I think I understand
and I listen as best I can
but he leaves me
with my own thoughts
to struggle with the person I am.

P.J. Wolf

Relating

These are thoughts I had while driving through the Appalachian Mountains.

It is a marvel to see
the Appalachians in the Fall;
not just the many shades of red,
yellow and green,
but the thought of it all.

Hillsides at angles too steep to climb,
rock cliffs that fall straight down.
The trees dense with scrubs and vines,
vivid colors both high and low
it makes one wonder what's inside.

What if I could walk within those colors
beautiful to see, find a path
where a deer might run
or a stream that flows beneath.
Would I see flowers or bramble bush
bluebells or poison oak or both?

Would the walk be easy
like sauntering down a street,
or would I stumble and fall
from the roots that pull at your feet?

Would there be blue birds and squirrels
and rabbits running along, or would I be attacked
by rattlers and bears and perhaps large cats?

The forest is full of beauty;
part to cherish, part to fear.
I can admire that beauty
from afar, it is safer here.

Or would it be better
to walk under the trees,
taking a chance to experience
life in that atmosphere?

Would one gain confidence
in the forest, overcoming the fear,
eventually feeling comfortable
among the dangers there?

Paul J. Wolf 11/25/09