I opened up my soul
to find the guts of it,
the thoughts and feelings
deep inside
its terrifying essence.
What I saw immediately
were memories of long ago,
shame and fear, but most of all
hurt from slights, rejections
from those I wished acceptance.
Then anger spread throughout my soul
like spores from some unearthly fungus
touching every part of me
pushing hate, energizing action.
Hate crawled in slowly
moving like a hunter
sneaking upon its prey
unseen until it kills.
I looked in horror
watching this unfold
seeing it as the damnation
of my sinful soul.
More memories poured out of me
of greed devouring my mind
focused on material
forgetting the spiritual.
Despair began to enter
as I cried out in my fear,
“there must be more to my soul
than what I see deep inside.”
Then memories of people
who loved me young and old
came forward in my soul.
Love evolved like a flower
blushing as it opens its petals.
Hope then entered slowly,
quietly calming my fear
ordering the memories
to focus on what is real to me.
Peace came to me quickly
when all this was seen,
I closed up my soul
to live with it.
It is everything I am.
Paul J. Wolf 5/20/10
